My Story

I push, I shove, eventually you fall.

I stand, I jump, eventually I’m tall.

I lift, I throw, I use all my might

Every thing I got, damn right I will fight

Sometimes you stay clean, sometimes you don’t

Sometimes you give up, trust me I won’t

Pushing forward until I’m there

Coming close, there’s more I can bear

Catch up, you’re too far behind

it seems this way all the time

Tired of failure, tired of short ends

tired of people who make horrible friends

if you can’t hang, stay on the porch

I’m coming strong, this is my force.

Sometimes, I stumble.

Sometimes, I wonder.

Sometimes, I daydream.

Sometimes, I feel like the only person who just saw something happen.

Sometimes, I am misunderstood.

Sometimes, I am sad.

Sometimes, I am happy.

Sometimes, I wonder if anything else can go wrong.

Sometimes, I wonder why do people kill each other.

Sometimes, I wonder why do people commit crimes.

Sometimes, I wonder why people can’t just do right.

Sometimes, I wonder how I will make it to work the next day.

Sometimes, I wonder how many more drinks can I take.

Sometimes, I wonder what I will cook for dinner.

Sometimes, I wonder about my girlfriend.

Sometimes, I wonder if I will be successful.

Sometimes, I wonder why the sky is blue and the grass is green.

Sometimes, I wonder if someone out there is wondering about me.

Sometimes.

Don’t judge me by my outer appearance. There’s so much more awesomeness underneath. Most people see me and automatically think that I am cocky and full of myself. What most don’t understand is that I am simply confident in everything that I do, because I have taught myself to be this way. Confidence on the outside leads to confidence on the inside. If you’re a person that is insecure, as I once was before, the only way to free yourself from it is to become confident. So what, no one is perfect, that don’t mean that you have nothing to be confident about.

I don’t mean simply posting pictures on Facebook or Twitter to get attention. Then, when people approach you and see you in the street, and you get nothing but negative attention, you wonder why. I am an Army man, been serving proudly for the last 7 years. I am college-educated, back in school to gain more knowledge to change my field. I work in the field of law enforcement, but I am not biased at all. I currently do security, and I am proud of how far I have come since my last deployment to Iraq.

I suffered from a strange case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) not because of things seen in combat, but because of the racism that I endured during my time in Iraq. I was passed up for promotion, watching those who truly didn’t deserve it be promoted over me. I have been treated like scum on this earth simply because. There was no true reason behind it. Did I let it stop me from becoming the man that I am today? No. You never let any trials and tribulations stop you from developing into the person that you are to become. Even in the eyes of death, I realize that I still have a purpose on this earth, and I have to move on. I never forget about it, but I don’t let it overtake me.

Those that are reading this are probably wondering why my mind is all over the place. That’s because I think 50 different things at one time, and have to learn how to get it all out in a way that it is understood by those who are reading it. I hope that you look forward to reading my writings, as I try to not only reflect on what’s going on in my life, but also noting things that are happening around me. Feel free to comment and speak your mind. Say whatever you feel. Don’t be surprised if you get a response that you’re not expecting. This is me, raw, real, defined. Test it if you want to.

I am a much better person now because of it, and I won’t let anyone stop me from accomplishing whatever it is that I want to do.